Stephen Handy says Jesus captured the imaginations and hopes of people around a simple table. He says we can nurture discipleship in others by simply breaking bread together and sharing a story of hope.
Discipleship is a process and practice, not a program. It is a process of becoming more Christlike by living into the patterns, practices, and behaviors of Jesus while extending love and grace to others. For many people, being a disciple means reading the Bible, praying daily, attending church, and maybe participating in an occasional mission trip. However, Jesus defines discipleship as being sent; sent into the neighborhood, the community, and the world as an immersion experience.
The power of a shared meal
Another understanding of discipleship is being in a relationship with Jesus and others so that we share a meal with someone and hear a story of hope and healing as wholeness emerges. Eating together is a therapeutic, spiritual practice that restores the soul. Jesus captured the imaginations and hope of people around a simple table. Without eating, we become weak and are easily distracted from sharing who we are and what we have every day. At the table, not only do we say grace over the meal, but we also receive grace in the stories and conversations.
Growing up, one of the intentional practices of my family was eating together at the dinner table. Sharing about our day—what we learned in school, our friendships, homework assignments, and grades—was always part of the conversation. Laughter, love, and hope were features of the invisible menu. Prayers were taught and recited at the table. Forgiveness and faith were exchanged. Healing of our brokenness emerged at the tables where our family and friends gathered. Honor, respect, and history were parts of the three-course meal every evening.
People invited Jesus to their tables. He invited himself to tables and even kicked over tables, and ultimately, he spent his last few moments around a table in an upper room with leaders, leaders who were part of a revolution of love, a shifting to the right or other side mindset.
Jesus spent his time eating and drinking—a lot of his time. He was a party animal. His mission strategy was a long meal that stretched into the evening. He did evangelism and disciples round a table with some grilled fish, a loaf of bread, and a pitcher of wine. If you think about it, Jesus spent more time around tables than he did in the temple. Why? Jesus was equipping leaders, building a model for discipleship that, in its purest form, is relational. Discipleship doesn’t happen organically in institutional settings but in moments in the marketplace and with the marginalized.
Sitting at tables allows us to make eye contact, sense the vibe of the other person’s agency, and show gratitude for being in the same space together. Recapturing and reclaiming that space at the table can compel and then propel us to share stories of hope.
Belonging and intimacy
People are always looking for two things in this life: belonging and intimacy. Belonging is a natural aspect of human nature, whether it’s in our congregations, family, school, or workplace. And the other bookend for humans is intimacy, and it’s more for the soul. Both belonging and intimacy originate with God and are expressed in the life and love of Jesus. Jesus understands our desire and need for community, especially in times of loss. As a loved one transitions from this earthly place, there is a deep void of human presence in our hearts. That void of loss never goes away, but God (or a higher power) gives us the ability to endure and become strengthened as a result of our discipleship mindset in our relationship with others.
We are designed for relational discipleship and communion with Jesus and one another, and we are drawn to each other for belonging and intimacy. This communion is essential to our physical wellness and welfare. As followers of Jesus, we are given a mission: “Go and make disciples of Jesus Christ.” Nowadays, discipleship is often taught in a series of classes, but Jesus taught discipleship in the marketplace and through immersion experiences and stories, also known as parables.
At the center of Jesus’ ministry were experiences around the table sharing meals with others. Communion is happening. There isn’t a formal liturgy, just Jesus hanging out with his friends, sharing life over meals. Jesus sets a table of grace that emphasizes second chances, and we celebrate this reality every time we see hands take the loaf and tear it apart.
At the core of any connection or reconnection is the establishment of relationships. Jesus is the master of all types of relationships, even those prohibited by cultural laws, norms, and mores. If you want to form a relationship with someone, don’t invite them to church first. Jesus didn’t. Jesus met people in the marketplace and often invited them to a table where stories were told. It was there that forgiveness, redemption, and restoration happened.
Table setting and sharing
Leaders need communion to stay physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually fit so they can build community. Community life doesn’t happen without real, lived experiences with God and others. McKendree United Methodist Church serves a community meal for our displaced and unhoused neighbors every Tuesday. While we provide the food, the beauty of the experience is intentionally being with God’s favorite people: the poor and society’s disinherited. Without fail, every time I sit and break bread with our displaced neighbors, my eyes are opened to seeing the potential and possibilities of each human created. Breaking bread with one another can open our hearts to see the best in people. Family is formed when we sit and eat, knowing who provides the bread.
Leaders who see discipleship as an essential element never waste a moment around a meal. Effective leaders use meals to start and embrace movements of intentional belonging and formational intimacy so that people can be strengthened by seeing the beauty in each other. We simply need to recapture and reclaim by reframing discipleship as a daily experience and expression of our faith wherever we gather.
Condensed from Dare to Shift: Challenging Leaders to a New Way of Thinking (Market Square Books, 2023) by Michael Bowie and Stephen Handy. Used by permission. The book is available at Market Square and Amazon.
Related Resources
- 7 Steps for Making Disciples Through Relational Mentoring by Ken Carter and Audrey Warren
- The Great Omission by Michael Adam Beck and Stephanie Moore Hand
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