Why do so many Sunday morning conversation get stuck in small talk? Laura Heikes challenges church leaders to move beyond chit-chat and create meaningful connections through Sunday morning questions. With just a little preparation, you can spark deeper conversations that help people notice God’s work, reflect on their spiritual practices, and connect their lives to the church’s mission. Here’s how to start asking questions that matter.
If leadership is all about the right questions, why do so many Sunday morning conversation get stuck in small talk? Church leaders should use the precious time we have on Sunday mornings to ask meaningful, interesting questions about God, souls, and mission. The right question can shift someone’s focus from the mundane to the sacred and help you meaningfully connect with the congregation without chit-chat. Here are three types of questions you can use to go deeper this week.
Questions that invite worshippers to notice God’s work
My favorite questions, and those that my congregation seems to appreciate most, center on where people have noticed God in the week past. This type of question is fairly easy for anyone to answer, no matter how long they have been in the church. I’ve never found someone unable to answer such questions and I often hear “Wow. That’s a really great question!” Best of all, if you ask weekly, people will begin to look for God’s work just so they can tell you on Sunday. It’s a question that can spark attention to God throughout the week. Ideas for this type of question include:
- Where did you notice God this week?
- When did you feel closest to God this week?
- Have you seen God’s love in an unexpected place this week?
- Is there a moment this week when you saw God at work, even in a small way?
- Did any moment this week feel like a gift from God?
Questions that invite reflection on spiritual practices
A second type of question invites reflection on spiritual practices. Phrased correctly, such questions can be answered equally well by those new to church and those with more experience. This type of question invites individuals to think about the habits and actions that have helped them connect with God. It also gives insight into what practices are nourishing your congregation. When you ask this type of question several weeks in a row, folks will anticipate it and start to notice what’s drawing them closer to God. This could even lead to an increase in those habits and practices! Here are some ideas of these types of questions:
- What fed your soul this week?
- What practice or habit drew you closer to God this week?
- What’s been giving you life this week?
- Is there a moment this week that made you pause and feel grateful?
- Did you encounter generosity this week?
- Did you have a chance to rest or recharge this week? How did that feel?
- Is there a passage of scripture, a quote, or a song that’s been sticking with you this week?
- What’s been sparking your curiosity about God this week?
Questions related to your context, mission, or emphasis
A final section of questions grows from what’s going on in your faith community. Are you doing a sermon series on hope? Does your mission statement speak about service? What are the goals the Admin Board set for your congregation this year? All of these can be formed into questions that will further thinking about shared goals.
- A church with a giving emphasis “Hope is Here” could ask, “What made you hopeful this week? When did God encourage you to have hope? How were you able to share hope with someone this week? What do you wish others knew about generosity?”
- A congregation with a mission that speaks of being a “community for all” might ask “Where did you see community this week? What do you love about your neighborhood? What is something you wish others knew about the people in this church? Who did you realize was part of God’s community this week?”
- A church whose admin board set a goal of increasing hospitality and welcome might ask “When did you feel most welcome this week? When did someone’s kindness surprise or delight you this week? What one thing did you do this week that seemed to have the greatest positive impact on someone else?”
Good leaders ask good questions. Don’t waste Sunday morning or any other time on small talk. Pre-planned questions don’t kill authenticity—they create space for it. Try a few of these out over the next few weeks. Notice how people respond. Notice how much spiritual reflection and insight can come from even a brief conversation when you ask questions that really matter.
Related Resources
- Right Questions for Church Leaders, Volumes 1-4, a PDF e-book by Lovett H. Weems Jr.
- Cultivating Good Questions by Eileen R. Campbell-Reed
- Fruitful Leaders Ask Questions by Daniel M. Cash and William H. Griffith
- Reclaiming Conversation by Dwight J. Zscheile
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